Fri, 06 Mar 2026 23:15:12 +1000WeeblyWed, 02 Apr 2014 14:27:26 GMThttp://www.stevebishop.net/the-astounding-express-thats-a-slowcoach/the-astounding-express-thats-a-slowcoachErstaunlich, étonnant, sorprentende! In any language that the Swiss speak the Bernina Express is astounding.

Not for its speed - it crawls along at an average speed of 24 kph and will stop on request at any one of a dozen or so wayside halts.

The Bernina Slow Coach would be a far better description.

But in two and a half magical hours at the end of March it plunged us from white winter two and a quarter kilometres above sea level in St Moritz down to purple-tinged magnolia spring at a modest 400-odd metres above the distant Lombardy Plains.

From three-metre high snow cliffs and a blizzard on the station platform at Ospizio Bernina to primrose and daffodil-laden lawns in the Italian town of Tirano.

From the nose-bleed high prices of St Moritz's hotel palaces where a 100 millilitre glass of house wine will set you back up to $18 to the charming Antica Osteria Dell' Angelo restaurant in the historic area of Tirano where a whole bottle of a splendid nobilio costs the same price.

The train clings to precipitous drops, on ledges just wide enough for the metre-wide tracks, at aircraft altitude above valley floors and spirals and corkscrews its way down rugged, forested  mountains.

It whirls its way round semicircular turns like a dog chasing its tail, down gradients steep enough to force many a cyclist ascending such a slope to get off and push.

Apart from completing circles in tunnels, emerging on virtually the same geographical location but many metres below, there's one point where the track takes to a curved viaduct and completes the circle by going under one of its graceful stone arches.

If you're taking the return journey from St Moritz as we did, there's plenty of time to explore the historic area of Tirano which the local council seems to want to keep secret.

We were convinced there had to be a maze of narrow streets somewhere but couldn't find signs. To save you time searching, find the river and follow it uphill where you'll discover the magnificent Palazio Salis, containing beautiful frescoed ceilings.

While in St Moritz, where the streets are lined with ultra chic shops such as Tiffany and Billionaire rather than quaint chalets, we were about to select two of those miniature glasses of wine costing $18 each the Baddrutt's Palace Hotel when we noticed there was a wine tasting session taking place.

Was this an invitation-only affair, we asked? Was this an event which had a entry fee, we asked? Questions well worth asking because the answer from the waiter was that it was open to the public free of charge!

Unsurprisingly, we abandoned our attempt to spent $36 on two splashes of wine and proceeded to indulge in some wondrously complex, superb wines from the Vaud Canton next to Geneva.

This was far from a formal "hint of beetroot with traces of creosote" wine snobbery. We had a charming chat with the producers.

Christophe Chappuis, whose family has grown grapes on the same land since 1335, has a suitably proud but engaging personality. His Dezaley premier grand cru chasselas is wonderfully complex white wine.

Vincent Graenicher is only a third generation 'vigneron and encaveur' but he's equally proud of his Domaine Es Cordelieres premier grand cru chasselas.

And Gilles Cornut treated us to several glasses of his very fine reds and some great bonhomie.

So they told us about theirs and we told them about ours - the Granite Belt and it's progress from table-grape fermentations to international award-winning wines and the Strange Bird wine trail with its magnificent range of single varietals.

Unfortunately, like the Granite Belt, the vast majority of Vaudrais wines do not find their way on to bottle shop shelves so you will have to seek them out. If you do, you will be richly rewarded.

What else can I tell you?

Ski runs in the Zermatt circus are well linked. It's worth spending the extra cash on an international pass which enables you to ski down almost two and a half vertical kilometres to Valtournenche in Italy. If you're looking for black run challenges they are few and far between but some of the red runs offer steep sections.

We bought a Swiss Rail Pass which we used for five days before our skiing holiday.

The William Tell Express from Lucerne to Lugano starts with a three-hour cruise on Lake Lucerne with a silver service lunch as the boat wends its way leisurely from mirrored village to mirrored village. The train then climbs the Gotthard Pass, circling the same church three times as it gains height before gliding down into the warm Ticino.

And then there is the magnificent scenery and engineering feat of the Glacier Express as it takes you on a near eight-hour roller coaster journey up and down Alpine passes in luxury observation carriages.

It's a journey which includes the gurgling early torrents of two of Europe's mightiest rivers, passing through the spectacular gorge of the Rhine, as it starts its journey north to Holland, and the Rhone setting off for the Mediterranean.

The journey is encapsulated by the Landwasser Viaduct where the train shoots out of a tunnel 65 metres above a gorge in a sheer rockface on to a narrow, curving limestone viaduct plugged into the cliff.

You might gather that we enjoyed ourselves.

*Our trip was organized with the help of Supertravel.

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